Dungeons, Dragons, and Disappointment Six packs of Mountain Dews and 40 oz. Frito's Yeah it used to be fun Hangin' out in the basement at Mallet That honors dorm was number one! I made my halberd out of part of my dad's old lawnmower I swear to God I never meant to actually cut your head off But your THAC0 roll was so laughably low you should really only blame yourself for this one And you know your friend, she never should have called the cops You were playing a level 2 Elven Priestess I was a level 15 Orcish Berzerker I was Chaotic Evil You were Lawful Good You tried to convert me Because you never understood What it's like to be evil Well it's really mean! Your skin was purest white, girl My skin's the darkest green Now I feel so obscene So obscene Well it's finally getting cold In late November You tried to roll a saving throw But you didn't remember That you had a minus two For your dexterity You shouldn't ever raise your staff Against an orc like me The sky never looked so black Your eyes never looked so blue Your lips never looked so red your hands lever looked so cold your hair never looked so gold And your face never looked so dead And then the cops took me away from you just like the orc that I've become And now I'll be forever chained inside the city dungeon This time it's for real Real! Real? Real! Real? Real! Real? I can't explain the way it makes me feel Feel! Feel? Feel! Feel? Feel! Feel? My perception check is telling me that it's for real